I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
