Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
