i already hear my dad disowning me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
