come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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