I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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