So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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