So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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