My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
