i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
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