Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize