I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
