Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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