you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
