scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
