i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
