mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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