dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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