i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He better not be in your backpack
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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