so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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