So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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