terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
