I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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