Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
