I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
