There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
