using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
