You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
