He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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