I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
