ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
