I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
