Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
