Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
