You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
