I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
