At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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