ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
A+ Viking dick
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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