i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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