Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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