So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
