And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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