I cockslap morals
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
