Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I think my moral compass just broke
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