Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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