why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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