Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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