$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
