Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I want to be your penis for a week.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
