fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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