we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
