Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
